Missing Things.....

I know that God is way greater than anything that I am going through and that He has overcome the world and because of that I can to.....
The older I get the more I realized how much I miss things. I miss my girls being babies and totally dependant on me for everything. I miss high school and being able to be silly and still being dependant on someone for everything. Don't get me wrong I LOVE MY LIFE. I love everything that God has blessed me with.
Right now in my life I miss something else more than anything that I ever thought was possible. I miss my sister. I miss talking to her, seeing her, our fights, our goofyness, I miss my sister so much that it hurts..physically and mentally. I never thought that my life would not include her and it sucks. I am angry at her for what she has done to her children. They love her so much and she doesn't even care. I am angry with her because my kids won't be able to get to know who she is. I am angry with her because I have to explain to my four year old daughter why she can't talk to or be around her Aunt Emmy. I am angry with her because I see what she puts my parents through and it makes me sick. I am angry with her because of how my heart feels. But I will forgive all these things just to have her back. I need her in my life. I want her in my life. I just want her back. I need her back. I pray for everyday and I know thats all I can do. I know that this is God's plan for us now, I don't understand it, I dont like it, but I know that HIS WILL WILL BE DONE. Sorry for the bummer. I am just having a moment. I love all of you and pleeeeeaaaase pray for my sister for God to use whatever possible to change her life around. Love you all.